Mirror Reflections

I think I’m coming to the conclusion that perhaps it isn’t only ‘men’ that are holding back women from conquering their worlds, but perhaps it is also women.

The last few weeks I’ve been told a few stories of women acting awfully towards other women and their lifestyles and choices.  Much judgment has been passed and many negative comments made.

The way I see it, if a women is courageous enough to go out and get what she wants, to make things happen, to follow her dreams, to live the way she wants, then we should be cheering her on.  If a woman is brave enough to quit a job or leave a relationship that is making her unhappy, then we should be supporting her.  If a woman is wildly successful, or confidently conquering her world, then we should be congratulating her.

Instead, in so many instances, women are passing judgment dripping in disdain, criticising choices made, and making disparaging comments born of contempt and general condescension.

A couple of years ago, I started to see this behaviour for what it is.  A reflection of that person’s jealousy, unhappiness and fear, all bursting out of its cage unchecked and unrestrained, vomiting up a foul feast of words before its owner can regain control.

Those women that are passing judgement, criticising and making contemptuous comments are, I believe, largely envious.  Envious that the woman in question is perhaps doing something that they wish they were doing, or perhaps because they haven’t been as successful as she, or perhaps because they are wildly unhappy in their own choices.  Sometimes perhaps it’s because the other woman has something they want, or looks the way they wish they did.  It’s as if this other woman has become a mirror in a harsh and unforgiving light.  They see this other woman, being everything they feel they are not, or think they can’t be, and flood her with negativity.

I’m not saying that we all have to agree with what the other is doing, that we should braid our hair and sing kumbaya around a campfire.  Of course there will always be differences in lifestyle choices, opinions, methods, actions, and views.  But if nothing else, we should at least have enough respect to honour each other without our own fears and limitations dictating our reactions.

And for those women that are hurt, judged, criticised or put down, know that perhaps it’s not about you.  Next time think, perhaps this is about the other person and is simply a reflection of their issues.  Next time, wish them a bubble of love and continue to shine your light.

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